By: Seija Grant, MEd CP, RP
Whoooooa. Okay. Yes, there is a lot of shame going around. It seems to spread like wild fire too. So many conductors for shame and guilt that can easily lead to spiraling: feelings of being monitored by others, being judged, criticized or questioned for our actions or behaviours (perceived or actual); for feeling ‘good’ during a global crisis; for coping in a way that we need to; for not doing ‘enough’.
There are people making assumptions about others, posting things all over social media, guilting, blaming and shaming. It’s nearly impossible to avoid.
Linda Kelly, MSW, RSW, CEO, Psychotherapist
Are you tired of being told to be sensitive? Are you resonating with the #tiredofgenerationsnowflake trend? You might be suffering from social media overkill.
So take a break. Chill.
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”– Mahatma Gandhi
The science of happiness tells us that being happy is basically... a choice.
The science of happiness tells us that being happy is basically... a choice. Yup, you heard me, a choice. As if it was that easy. But, if you’re struggling to make lemonade when it feels like all life hands you are lemons, you are not alone. Here are a couple things to keep in mind when you're struggling to see the sunshine among all that rain.
You are wanted & you are needed
Take a second and think about the most important people in your life. I guarantee you, whoever it is, they want to see you happy. Have you spent time with them lately? If you’re looking for a reason to be happy, this is the place to start.
You can’t buy happiness
Time to let go of the jealousy and materialistic longing. Happiness doesn’t come from having the nicest car, or the best clothes. Happiness comes from confidence and knowing your worth.
We know that sleep helps our body recover from the day and repair itself. Sleep helps us focus and be more productive. It turns out, sleep is also important for happiness. Allowing your brain to rest will make facing those tough emotions easier and more manageable.
Happy people are healthier
“Happy” habits include letting go of grudges, expressing gratitude, treating others with kindness and regarding your problems as challenges. Living in the present, waking up at the same time each morning, eating right and exercising are other “secrets” that happy people tend to embrace.
Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.
Experiencing a trauma response to bad world news? Here are a few tips that can help you cope.
Managing when you find your thoughts getting out of control is a necessary tool to master for positive mental health.
Seeing the blood dripping into the toilet, I realized that I was going to drive myself crazy.
The brilliant red, larger drops than I had ever seen up close, poured out of me after the vomit had made its way through.
Drip, drip, drip, transfixed by deep red permeating the dark beige of whatever had been roiling around in my stomach that could no longer be contained. I felt like I'd never seen that colour before. It was beautiful in a grotesque way.
And I had one of those brilliant moments of clarity that we all wish for and fear at the same time. I couldn’t stay on this ride.
I had to stop this.
I wish people knew how much control they have over how they feel. Life is not about what happens to us, but about how we perceive our experiences. Our story is created in the way we define it, and this story is about how to take control of the thoughts that hold us back.
I’ve always wanted to do something important. As a kid, I dreamt of singing in front of thousands of people, writing books, and inspiring and motivating others to create a better world. But I didn’t. At least, I haven’t yet (fingers crossed!). When given opportunities, I let my pounding heart and shortness of breath convince me that it was safer to pass rather than speak up.
I used to tell myself that if I wanted to lead people, I had to be about 50 pounds lighter first, with better hair and clothes. I told myself that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. I was worried about alienating people who didn’t agree with what I had to say. When it came to the really important moments, there was too much risk, and in the end, I was convinced I wouldn’t make a difference anyway. It sounds cynical, but it was purely a fear of rejection.
Your greatest foe and most powerful advocate is your own mind. I realize now that the greatest obstacle is the battle within. What if that nagging voice had been rooting for me instead of tearing me down? What if I had told myself that the worst-case scenarios weren’t really all that bad? Imagine how many incredible things I could have done if I had been willing to make mistakes. When you are conditioned to criticize yourself, it doesn’t seem possible to change the tone of the conversation. But it is.
Written for you, by local therapists.
NWO’s source for all things relationships, mental health, wellness, and lifestyle: Kelly Magazine is a mental health outreach initiative created by Kelly Mental Health and supported by Kelly Mental Health Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the community in the area of mental health.
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