By: Seija Grant, MEd CP, RP

​Whoooooa. Okay. Yes, there is a lot of shame going around. It seems to spread like wild fire too. So many conductors for shame and guilt that can easily lead to spiraling: feelings of being monitored by others, being judged, criticized or questioned for our actions or behaviours (perceived or actual); for feeling ‘good’ during a global crisis; for coping in a way that we need to; for not doing ‘enough’.

There are people making assumptions about others, posting things all over social media, guilting, blaming and shaming. It’s nearly impossible to avoid.

Linda Kelly, MSW, RSW, CEO, Psychotherapist

​Are you tired of being told to be sensitive? Are you resonating with the #tiredofgenerationsnowflake trend? You might be suffering from social media overkill.
 
So take a break. Chill.

By: Cassandra Nordal

For those of you that don’t know, a Situationship is a romantic relationship that’s undefined or maybe even uncommitted. It is NOT the same as “friends with benefits.” It may be someone that you’ve been comfortably hooking up with for some period of time, or someone that has close intimacy with you but doesn’t refer to you as a partner. Sometimes, having undefined relationships is super fun, sexually satisfying, and liberating, even. Plus, a Situationship gives you time to get to know somebody without feeling pressured to make a big decision about commitment.
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So how do you know if you’re in one? What’s the difference between an “open relationship” or “friends with benefits?” 

By: Cassandra Nordal

​Returning to work after a lay off or leave in general, is difficult. You add a pandemic onto that and well, how do we begin to function properly?

​Recently, I have really been reflecting on the meaning behind the cliché about our lives being broken down into “chapters”.  I have been seeing it this way more now than ever before, in both my life, and in the lives of the people around me. Our lives can change so dramatically in one day, by either making a single choice, or having something happen around us that is totally out of our control. Life is fluid and dynamic, and the uncertainty of it all can feel kind of scary. 

By: Kelly Graham, MSW, RSW

​If you’re anything like me, you love sleeping in and hate waking up early for anything. While this lifestyle was alright in my teenage years, the older I got, the more I wanted to wake up and be productive in the morning. While this is much easier said than done, here are some tips that can help you learn to rise with the birds and get stuff done.

By: ​Laura Groulx, MSW, RSW

​I talk to a lot of people. Like really talk. Typically, in my first meeting with a new client, I’ll ask what their goals are for counselling. As in, what is it that they are looking to change about themselves, or what can I support them through.

​An answer I often encounter is this: I want to be happy. This is a big goal. What does this even mean?? 

​Change can be hard. Like really hard. There are some people that thrive in a changing environment, however, many (like me!), prefer structure, routine, and predictability. Unfortunately for us structure-lovers, life isn’t always so predictable.

​The experience of coping with difficult situations, significant changes in life, and other life challenges might leave you feeling low in mood and even hopeless. The challenge with feelings of hopelessness is that this feeling carries with it a certain reality: that things won’t get better, that it is not worth trying, and that you might as well just give up.  

By: Kristen Sohlman, MACP, RP

Are you feeling that the world has changed so much?  Are you feeling helpless?  Are you feeling sad?  You may not be just depressed; you may be grieving. The grief response happens when there are significant changes in life, when things will not go back to the way they used to be, when there is a loss of normalcy, a loss of connection, when there is worry or fear, and all of this is hitting us in a short period of time.  

By: Kelly Graham, MSW, RSW

You’ve probably been bombarded with articles about how you should use your time in self-isolation to better yourself (learn a language, play an instrument, etc.). However, this can be hard for a lot of people. We are feeling stressed and anxious about what is happening in the world, and for some people that isn't easy to overcome. 

By: Laura Groulx, MSW, RSW

​I don’t have answers, only thoughts. I’m not a lawyer, but I do speak with a lot of people about relationships and family dynamics. Recently, with everything happening in the world, I’ve been wondering how co-parents are handling shared custody and access regarding children that are currently in isolation; after all, some children have more than one family. 

By: Cassandra Nordal

This is obviously a scary time for us all. Hour by hour, we are watching our world change so drastically that we are all in a state of constant worry and panic. We have been focusing on the detrimental health risk and factors that this virus is causing, and now, we need to talk about the impact this is having on our mental health.
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By: Seija Grant, Med CP, RP

​Wow! Things are feeling a little chaotic and overwhelming, and certainly anxiety-provoking out there. I am not immune to that as a therapist, and was thinking about what can be done to ease some of the mental (and physical) tension in our community.  One such skill that can be cultivated and applied during these tough times is ‘Mindful Self-Compassion’ (MSC).  I realize this may be a new concept for many of you, so I will give a brief overview of what this is and how this may be helpful during this tense time.

This article topic was requested and I have been thinking long and hard about the meaning of this quote, and how to discuss it. I have recently come across examples of people making decisions to further their careers, or make steps towards their goals that as a side effect, harm others.  When I say harm others, I do not mean bodily harm, but more of an emotional wound, relational injury or impacting others’ beliefs.  Some of the sentiments related to this topic that have been relayed to me include: hurt feelings, breach of trust, and feeling as though they have been stabbed in the back.  None of these things have a positive impact on a person, unless it is to increase their resilience.  However, if you are one of these people who have been affected by another’s decision to better themselves, then I have some recommendations that you may want to try out to ease the pain.
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I may start sounding like a broken record, but I truly believe we need more of this in our world: try on some empathy for size. What I mean by that is, put yourself in the other’s shoes.  Can you see how they might have come to this decision?  Do you think they intended to hurt you personally? Might this have been a once in a lifetime opportunity for them? Usually, this technique can help us to understand both sides of the story instead of being stuck in a one-sided loop, creating more resentment and anger towards the situation and the person who had ‘wronged’ you. Also, it is a great exercise to practice that may cause you to have a deeper understanding of the human psyche.

Another idea is not to take it personally.  Of course, this is easier said than done. As humans we are hard-wired for survival…however, sometimes these reflexes work to our detriment.  If a person has wronged us, we are weary to let them do it again by putting up walls to protect ourselves.  Learning from our mistakes is a great thing, but not if it means closing yourself off to the world.  Instead of keeping it to yourself, isolating, brooding, emotional stuffing, or passive aggressive behavior—try talking about it to someone you trust, increasing your positive relations with people in your life. However, there is a thin line. Some venting can be beneficial, but don’t become engulfed in the negativity--get it out and move on. Try to challenge yourself by coming up with a different way you may be able to view the situation, such as finding a silver lining, or a positive flip-side. Changing your negative thoughts to a more positive framework can go a long way in increasing your overall happiness.