Kelly Magazine
  • About
  • Mental Wellness Articles
  • Contact Us
    • Chat with Us
    • Follow Us >
      • Facebook
      • Instagram
      • Pinterest
  • About
  • Mental Wellness Articles
  • Contact Us
    • Chat with Us
    • Follow Us >
      • Facebook
      • Instagram
      • Pinterest
Search by typing & pressing enter

YOUR CART

Battling Shame

7/27/2020

Comments

 
By: Seija Grant, MEd CP, RP
Picture
​Whoooooa. Okay. Yes, there is a lot of shame going around. It seems to spread like wild fire too. So many conductors for shame and guilt that can easily lead to spiraling: feelings of being monitored by others, being judged, criticized or questioned for our actions or behaviours (perceived or actual); for feeling ‘good’ during a global crisis; for coping in a way that we need to; for not doing ‘enough’.

There are people making assumptions about others, posting things all over social media, guilting, blaming and shaming. It’s nearly impossible to avoid.
​Shame is defined as humiliation and distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour. Shame is “I am bad”, whereas guilt is “I did something bad”. Shame is the fear of disconnection with others, of being ostracized and outcast. Blame is a way to discharge pain and discomfort. These are all defense mechanisms, ways to protect ourselves, but not the adaptive kind.
 
What I propose is this: we pause before engaging with these behaviours, and think it over before we proceed. If we continue to allow fear to drive the bus, the result will be hatred, divide, and disconnection, as we have seen in history countless times before. Rather than starting an online tirade or sharing a post that fuels anger or isolates a group of people, let us all think about what we could do instead. There is another option. 

A quote by Brené Brown (if you’re not familiar, she has an excellent Netflix special called ‘Call to Courage’). Which can be helpful during this time is:
“All I know is that my life is better when I assume people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.”
This time can be really difficult for some people. I recently read a post that was helpful and it said something like ‘we are all in the same storm, but we are in different boats’. I thought that was really powerful because there are many different situations and we need to be cognizant that the struggle is much different for different people and for different reasons. Also, this trauma (yes this is a trauma we are collectively enduring) can be triggering, and activating for people who have a pre-existing trauma history (many more people than you likely think). I whole-heartedly agree that our physical health is very important during this time and needs to be protected, but so too does our mental health. We still need to have access to healthy coping strategies and our support system, but we need to do it safely.
Picture
​We, as humans, are wired for connection. Let’s use this as an opportunity to build each other up, to support one another, to be there for others, to reconnect, to care for ourselves, to practice empathy, and to communicate. Reach out if you need help and be understanding if others reach out to you. Also, let’s be kind and compassionate with ourselves, because this is hard. When we are kind to ourselves, we are also kinder to others.
Comments
    Picture

    Categories & Tags

    All Abuse Addiction Animals Anxiety Ask The Therapist Attitude Balance Betrayal Birth Body Image Boundaries Breakups Bullying Burnout Career Change Children Cognitive Distortions Communication Community Conflict Counselling Covid 19 Covid-19 Decisions Depression EMDR Emotions Exercise Exes Family Food Grief Guest Submissions Happiness Health Healthy Healthy Living Hobbies Holiday Home Letters From The Editor LGBTQ+ Lifestyle Loneliness Loss Men's Mental Health Mental Health Mindfulness Nature Pain Parenting Perfectionism PMS Quizzes Relationships Resiliency Respect Seasons Self Care Self-Care Self Harm Self-harm Self-help Self Love Self-love Sex Sexual Assault Sexuality Shame Sleep Stereotypes Stress Suicide Awareness Tattoos Technology Therapy Toxic Transition Trauma Trust Unhealthy Wedding Wellness Women Workplace Worrying Yoga

    Disclaimer: Kelly Magazine, along with all articles and blog posts, is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide personal support as an alternative to psychotherapy services. Please note that replies are viewable by the public, and we may take a few days to respond. If you require immediate assistance, please call Kelly Mental Health during business hours. 
    Picture
Picture

Overview

NWO’s source for all things relationships, mental health, wellness, lifestyle, and pandemic support. Kelly Magazine is a mental health outreach initiative created by Kelly Mental Health and supported by Kelly Mental Health Foundation, a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the community in the area of mental health.

Magazine

About
​Articles

Follow Us

Contact Us
Clinic / Foundation

In support of @kellymentalhealthfndn

Picture

​© COPYRIGHT. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ​WEB DESIGN BY KMH