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3 Quick Parenting Tips That Have a Lasting Impact

8/1/2019

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The hardest part of implementing parenting strategies that will work is to be consistent with them.
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𝒷𝓎​ Marianne Wylie, MSW, RSW

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Put Technology Aside

Before telling your child something or asking them to do something, have them pause/turn off technology for the duration of the conversation. Despite popular belief, human beings are not natural multitaskers. To be sure your child hears what you have to say, remove distractions first and get their undivided attention. This teaches them to be mindful, increases their attention skills, increases social skills, and helps you feel heard. In order for this to work well in the long run, we parents need to do the same. When we talk to our children or they come up to us, put the phone aside, pause Netflix, and give them eye contact giving your undivided attention. This sends the message that you care and are interested. This models the behaviour that you want to see as well.  
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Give Your Child Choice

Tantrums and backtalk happen more often when children feel they do not have choice in a matter. While there are many choices children are not yet mature enough to make, the more often they are given some say in the matter, the less likely tantrums will happen. 

​Deliver their options and related consequences to them in a calm voice, ending with the most desirable choice.

“You have a choice. If you don’t finish your supper you will not get dessert; but if you do finish your supper then you get dessert. I hope you choose to eat so that we can enjoy dessert together (with a smile)”
 
“You have a choice. You can continue to use mean words to your sister, and your sister will feel sad and you will not have the tablet tonight OR you can choose to use nice words which will make everyone happy and you can use the tablet.”
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Be Consistent!

It is amazing how if I am not consistent about something only once, my daughter will expect it again and again. Sometimes I just want a break from the hard work of parenting. But this does not work. The hardest part of implementing parenting strategies that will work is to be consistent with them.

Applying the above strategies in a consistent manner teaches our children that there are ripple effects to our actions (or lack of actions in some cases) whether positive or negative. This encourages them to be thoughtful, to plan ahead, and teaches impulse control. If you do venture off the consistent path, just get back on the path and let your child know you are going back to this approach. This gives them a chance to think about their options.
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    Disclaimer: Kelly Magazine, along with all articles and blog posts, is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide personal support as an alternative to psychotherapy services. Please note that replies are viewable by the public, and we may take a few days to respond. If you require immediate assistance, please call Kelly Mental Health during business hours. 
    To access the KMH article archive, please click here.
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