An Important Ingredient for a Long-Lasting Relationship: Building Rituals of Emotional Connection

By: Kristen Sohlman, MACP RP

What is one thing that long lasting healthy relationships have in common? They make the time to build rituals of emotional connection within their relationship.  A ritual is a regular behaviour that preserves and honours things that are important to people.  What can be more important than hounouring yourself and the relationship that you have with another person?  Building rituals of emotional connection help couples turn towards one another, builds trust, increases closeness and intimacy, and improves friendships. Rituals of emotional connection can come in many forms from daily rituals to traditions, etc.

There are many ways to create rituals for emotional connection within your relationship:

• Cook dinner together.
• Eat meals together.
• Spend time together without screens. Put your phone down and turn off the tv.
• Have regular face to face conversations. Talk about how your day went and include the things that went well and not so well.
• Exercise together. 
• Go for a walk.
• Take up a hobby together.  
• Share hugs and kisses.
• Write just because or love notes and leave them for your partner.
• Say goodbye when you leave.
• Greet one another and say hello when you return.  
• Have a morning and bedtime routine that involves your partner.  
• Family game night.
• Date night.
• Go for a drive together.
• Watch movies together.
• Share humour and tell jokes.
• Celebrate successes.
• Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.
• Have sex.
• Take a staycation, vacation, or doing something together that you have never done before.
• Take breaks and engage in self-care when emotionally flooded.
• Take care of one another when sick.
• Build rituals for bad news, disappointment, grief and loss, etc.

 
References:
The Gottman Institute. (2022, April 04). The Gottman Institute. Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com/