Feeling Better in Isolation? What's up with that?

Seija Grant, MEd CP, RP

​I have now heard this account from several people, and am one of these people myself. Despite the ongoing trauma, state of chaos and challenges around this pandemic, there are some people who are relieved by the break from normalcy, and in fact maybe really needed the break. If this sounds familiar: don’t worry, you are not alone, nor is there anything wrong with how you’re feeling. 

​For some people this may point to work-related burnout, or a lack of work-life balance; for others, perhaps this has more to do with social anxiety and interpersonal relationships. There are a lot of reasons why you might feel better now that you have a “time-out” from your life.
 
Then there is the added layer of guilt for feeling good during a pandemic when others you know are struggling. Why are we always shaming ourselves? It’s OK to feel good right now. It’s also OK if you are having a really hard time right now. It’s even OK if you are back-and-forth and all over the place. All of these emotions and experiences are valid, and are all very human.
 
However, one thing all of these experiences do have in common is the importance of trying to understand WHY you may feel a certain way or have relief from certain feelings that existed previously. Emotions are universal, and important indicators for humans. They are not simply annoying things that happen to us which should be ignored. They are not bad, and they are not good, they just are. If you are feeling angry, sad, anxious, etc. there is a reason for that. Emotions have a purpose and their purpose is to help you get your needs met, communicate and connect with others, and fulfill other important functions. Emotions are your mind and your body trying to tell you something, if you take the time to listen.

​ If you are feeling relief from anxiety, and are worried about going back to work, ask yourself “why do I feel so much anxiety from work?”

• Is it due to the work environment?
• Or dread from the idea of facing a particular co-worker or employer?
• Could it be due to over-working and not having an opportunity to recharge your batteries regularly?

 
Or maybe you’re worried about things going ‘back to normal’, and the more appropriate question to ask yourself is “why do I feel so much anxiety from my daily life?”

• Is it due to the overwhelming feeling of having to perform as a social butterfly in your day-to-day life when all you actually crave is alone time?
• Is it because you take on too much “normally” and need to pare back your responsibilities?
• Is it because certain relationships have been emotionally draining and you need to draw some healthy boundaries?

 
There is a lot to learn about ourselves during this time. Hopefully you have an opportunity to reflect on some of the contributing factors of your emotional states (whether positive or negative) to see if maybe there is a possibility of change on the other side of this COVID-19 bubble that may help you to feel more balanced, heard, seen, or even fulfilled.
 
Maybe that looks like talking to your employer about reduced work hours, or setting healthy boundaries in the work-place regarding expectations and responsibilities. Maybe it’s an even bigger change, such as this work or role doesn’t suit you anymore, or a relationship/friendship needs to be re-evaluated. Maybe it looks like standing up for your own boundaries and learning to say no when it all just feels too much, personally and/or professionally. Whatever the reason, know that you are not alone. This is a human experience and let me just leave you with a reminder to be gentle with yourself throughout this time, however it is that you feel.