How To Self-Soothe

Written By: Kristen Sohlman MACP RP

We all struggle with complicated feelings and emotions, conflicts, hurt, and pain. Learning how to take breaks to self-soothe is learning how to meet ourselves where we are at when going through tough stuff to move forward. Self-soothing helps us to have a better relationship with ourselves. Self-soothing helps the body to reset, particularly in response to acute stress. Instead of reaching for a drink, cigarette, etc. Self-soothe with healthier options, options that serve you better.

Hug Yourself: Touch can be self-soothing.  Give yourself a big hug.  While sitting up, stretch your arms out wide while inhaling. On your exhale, cross your arms around you and hug your body. Take 3 deep breaths with your arms crossed.  Repeat.

Turn to Nature and Go for a Walk: Take a mindful walk.  Use all your senses (sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste) and take in your surroundings.  Notice how beautiful the sun and blue sky look, hear the birds chirping or the sound of your feet on the ground, smell a flower or cedar bush, touch a soft Tamarack tree, or have a mint or stick of gum.  Make observations about the world around you.  Leave any judgements behind.

Listening to Soothing & Calming Music:  Soothing sounds and calming music can help calm your nervous system.  Try to pick nature sounds or music with a slower beat to help mimic your heart beat.

Take a Warm Bath, Shower, or Sauna:  Play with hot and cold.  Start or finish your bath with a blast of cold water.  Cold can deepen your experience of a warm soothing bath and deepen your sense of relaxation.

Guided Meditation: Listen to guided meditation. An easy google search will help you access the world of guided meditation.  Allow yourself to be present in the moment, give yourself permission to let go of what is bothering you just for this moment, and to let your thoughts wander.  It is not about emptying your mind, but to practice sitting still, to practice being quiet, to practice calmness, to assist in clarity, to strengthen the relationship with self, and to promote acceptance and happiness.

Smell Therapy: Smelling some of your favorite smells like baking, lavender, cinnamon, vanilla, etc.  This can help ground you in the present moment and deepen self-soothing.

Visit a Museum: Visit a museum or gallery.  Take in the quiet and look around you.  Discover art that you enjoy looking at.

Listen to an Audio Book or Podcast: Listen to an audio book, podcast, or tv show that your interested in and that makes you feel relaxed.  Try to avoid topics that create a stress response and focus instead on things that help to calm and quiet the mind.

Cook a Healthy Meal: Cook a favorite meal or a meal that you have always wanted to try.  Use nice dishes.  Enjoy and eat the meal slowly.  Taste the food you have created and savour it.

Wrap Yourself in a Blanket: Hop into some comfortable clothes.  Wrap yourself up in a soft and warm blanket.  Enjoy how the soft and warm blanket feels on your body.  Maybe invite a partner or pet in to join you.
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Create a Self-Soothing Kit: Find a box and start collecting things that are pleasurable and soothing for you.  Include pictures of people or places that bring you comfort.  Include mantras or inspirational quotes.  Maybe include a notebook for journaling or an adult colouring book.  If you have access to stress balls, fidget toys, candles, etc. bring them all together into one kit that you can pick and choose from when you might need it.