Mental Health & Sex

 Kelly Halonen, MSW, RSW

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!

Disclaimer: Sexual fulfillment can be met in a variety of ways, both with or without partners. That being said, it is important to note that many individuals are comfortably and confidently asexual or aromantic. So if this info applies to you, great! But if you are more comfortable with sex playing a less important role in your life, that’s great too

Sex can be great (well, hopefully). Besides the fact that it feels good (and can technically count as exercise), sexual health can also help your mental health. Physical pleasure can release various chemicals to make you feel happy and relaxed, make you feel closer to your partner and yourself, and improve your self-esteem.
 
One way that sex can help your mental health is by relieving stress, reducing anxiety, and increasing happiness. The main chemicals that are responsible for making this happen are endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin.

​Having sex can also help you feel closer to your partner. Not only are you physically closer, but sex within a healthy relationship will make you feel wanted and desired by your partner. As mentioned before, during sex, oxytocin is released, which has proven to increase trust and intimacy with your partner. Sex can also make you feel nurtured and taken care of when your partner is attending to your sexual needs. Having the intimacy that comes with sex can help strengthen your relationship and learn more about your partner.
 
Another positive part of sex is that it increases your self-esteem. You feel wanted by your partner. You feel desirable and attractive. Having somebody want you in this way can help you feel more confident and valuable. Even wearing lingerie, fancy underwear, or nothing at all can make you feel confident and attractive. Seeing the way that your partner looks at you can help reinforce that you are beautiful, even if you don’t always feel that way. Even in long-term relationships, your partner will still want you when you feel like you look awful, because they see how attractive you are and love you.
 
Sex can also be beneficial even if you don’t orgasm. While the feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin are released more during an orgasm, they are still released while having pleasurable sex. You also don’t need to orgasm to feel closer to your partner or to boost your self-esteem. This also comes along with just engaging in sex. So, don’t fret if you don’t orgasm often, or at all. You can still get all the mental health benefits of sex just by engaging in the act and feeling safe and valued!