By: Laura Groulx, MSW, RSW Recently, I have really been reflecting on the meaning behind the cliché about our lives being broken down into “chapters”. I have been seeing it this way more now than ever before, in both my life, and in the lives of the people around me. Our lives can change so dramatically in one day, by either making a single choice, or having something happen around us that is totally out of our control. Life is fluid and dynamic, and the uncertainty of it all can feel kind of scary. We are born and we die. That’s our book. The other characters in our book will do the same, but at different times, which can lead to beginnings or ends of our chapters. When someone significant in our life dies, there was the chapter with their physical presence, and the next chapter without. I’m not saying that their impression on our lives ever goes away, because it doesn’t, it’s just the difference in their physical self being there, and then not, and the resulting impact of this. Pets can fall into this category too. I recently had to put down two of my beloved dogs six months apart, Ned and Diesel. I had my chapters with them, and now I have my chapters without them. As sad as this is all sounding, it is bittersweet. Their books are finished, and they can find their peace. Plus, I will never forget the fond memories they gave me or the lessons they taught me. Importantly, there’s a new chapter that started somewhere along the way. I have a new dog, Walter, who is more mischievous than Ned and Diesel ever were put together. As naughty as he is, he is bringing extra joy to the chapter I am living right now. The Walter chapter is a good chapter too, and I am grateful to have it. Relationships also mark chapters. People are coming and going from our lives all the time, with some having longer and more significant chapters than others. This is a relationship with anyone, from a family member, friend, colleague, or significant others. No matter what their role while they’re in your book, their chapter has meaning, even when the meaning is difficult to make at first. In some cases, your book will end before their chapter does, and they end up being a part of your conclusion, but we can’t ever know that until the last page is turned. I also see the different homes/places we live in as their own chapters. I see one chapter of my life as that time I spent living in Southern Ontario, and the subsequent chapter as the time I’ve been living back in Thunder Bay. Everything can change with one single choice. We have the power and ability to close chapters and start writing new ones. Ending a chapter can be a painful experience, but at times, it can also be a rewarding one. Beginning a chapter can feel the same way too, one chapter may begin with grief, but maybe the next will begin with hope. There may be chapters that never really end. There are infinite and unpredictable conclusions to everyone’s book. People die. Babies are born. Pain and joy ebb and flow as we turn the pages to meet new endings and beginnings.
I am grateful for all of my chapters so far, even the ones that were harder to write. Because when I read the hard chapters back, I wouldn’t change a thing, because with them came introspection, self-awareness, personal growth, and gratitude for the more welcomed chapters. When I feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty and scariness of not knowing what kind of chapter is next, I try to remind myself that my book is short, so no matter what I’m faced with, I may as well keep writing. Besides, who knows, maybe the next chapter is one of the best ones yet. |
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