Questioning?

Questioning is a normal part of the process of coming to a deeper understanding of who you are, and how you relate to others.

𝒷𝓎 Marianne Wylie, MSW, RSW

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​I find I can be attracted to women. Does this mean I am a lesbian? Or perhaps Bi? But I go through periods of what seems like only attraction to men. Am I heterosexual and just curious?
 
I think I have a crush on my male friend, does this make me gay? I was attracted to women before but lately I don’t see them that way. Could I have gone from heterosexual to gay? Am I pansexual?
 
I have never really had an attraction to anyone. Is this normal? Is this what Asexuality is like?
 
I don’t feel comfortable in my own body. I have always felt more masculine than feminine. Am I trans?
 
I know I am not cisgender, does this mean I am lesbian/gay or am I transgender?
 
I have always identified as a lesbian and now find myself attracted to a man. Does this mean I’m not a lesbian? Am I pansexual? Bisexual? Am I heterosexual? What does this mean?

First, I want to say that it is okay and normal to question your sexuality or gender. Questioning is a normal part of the process of coming to a deeper understanding of who you are, and how you relate to others. As you ask and find answers, you are deepening your relationship with yourself.

Asking questions about your sexuality or gender may lead to identifying with a label such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, trans, transgender, queer, two-spirited, asexual, heterosexual and more. It is also common to question our sexuality after already having identified with any label(s). However, many people choose not to label their sexuality and gender, so questioning may lead to identifying with no label at all (which is also okay!) 

For some people, the process of questioning is exciting, but for others, it can be uncomfortable and a source of stress. Everyone’s experience of questioning their sexuality or gender is unique, and if you would like support or someone to talk to about questioning, there are many resources that can help. Click here for a list of resources available in Thunder Bay, or consider speaking to a therapist.

​Regardless of how you may end up identifying, I encourage you to find some comfort in the process of questioning. Whatever the answers may be, you are still you - and a lovely you at that! You are simply in the process of learning more about you, and that is a beautiful thing.