Secrets for Controlling Your Thoughts

Managing when you find your thoughts getting out of control is a necessary tool to master for positive mental health. 

By Maria Drohan, HBSW, AS Eng., MSW (Candidate)

Life is here for us to experience, to learn, and to grow. Sometimes we learn the hard way, and sometimes we learn through joy and happiness. But, believe it or not, many people unconsciously choose to learn the hard way. Never really believing in themselves and putting it down to “it always happens to me” or “I deserve this”. Managing when you find your thoughts getting out of control is a necessary tool to master for positive mental health.

There are different types of common negative thought patterns known as “Thought Traps” that occur whenever we are thinking negatively. When you are able to identify the common negative Thought Traps you can then challenge these by applying a more rational, balanced approach to your thinking.

One of the first things you need to do is to learn to stop in the middle of your thoughts. Usually, when you’re feeling frustrated, upset, tired, or angry about something, your tendency will be to “press on” or “fight through” or “get past” whatever it is that you’re feeling. This is not a good strategy. Instead of pressing on, take 5 minutes to stop what you’re doing, and think about your thoughts.
 
The better you become at stopping your thoughts, the faster this step will become for you. In the meantime, I can give you a tip to make it a little bit easier - begin with how you’re feeling and work backwards. Every feeling we have is the direct result of something we were thinking. Therefore, if you’re feeling sad, begin by stepping back for a minute, and asking yourself, “why do I feel sad?”.
 
Behind every negative thought is a lie about ourselves that we are choosing to believe whether consciously or subconsciously. A key step is to identify what that lie is. The lie could be that you deserve this or that you’re a failure. Whatever it is, the only way to combat a lie is with truth and right now is the time to seek out what the truth about you is. Once you have the truth ready to go, write the truth next to the lie. Write the truth in the first person and write it in positive phrasing. So, instead of writing, “I am not a failure,” write down, “I am a successful person who has accomplished many great things.” Slowly you will notice you are able to not only challenge your negative thinking but refocus thoughts through a more positive lens. 

To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind.

• Buddha