Surviving Isolation with Your Partner

By: Laura Groulx, MSW, RSW

The idea of surviving isolation with your partner may spur mixed emotions. We are with our partners because we fell in love, so much so, that we have committed ourselves to this other person completely. Well, maybe not completely. Let’s get real: We love our partners, but sometimes too much of a good thing is, as they say, too much. Relationships still require a sense of individuality and independence. We all need our space - space is healthy! However, we may be finding that we have less space from our partner when many of us are spending more time at home. Here are a few ideas on how to cope with increased togetherness:

STAY CONNECTED: It’s important to remember that although we may feel disconnected from the outside world, we never really are. Feeling stagnant with the people at home? Reach out to a family member or friend. Socializing with others, even if it’s over text, telephone, or video chat, can incorporate family and friends into our day, in order to take the pressure off of our partner. 

SUPPORT INDIVIDUALISM: Just because you’re in the same house does not necessarily mean you need to be in the same space. If you have another room and need some alone time – use it! You can also be in the same space but engaging in different activities. Reading different books. Headphones. Individual laptops. Embrace it all.  

ENRICH THE RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP: This could also be a great opportunity to promote emotional (and physical!) intimacy. Binge watch that show you’ve been meaning to watch together. Play board games. Turn electronics off and talk. Also, if the mood strikes… sex can be great for our mental and physical health.
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COMMUNICATE: For some, it can be difficult to communicate wants and needs to a partner, and sometimes we can unfairly expect our partner to anticipate our needs. This may be a great time to practice healthy communication by asking for what you want or need during your extended time together. Do you want the television room to yourself? Do you want to not be bothered while you take a nap? Are you feeling lonely and desire some connection time? Be honest with yourself, and be honest with your other half. Telling someone that you would appreciate some time alone so that you’ll handle stress more effectively is a much better option than bottling up the feeling of your needs being unmet, and exploding on someone you love!

Remember, assertive communication identifies needs, respects both the person speaking and the person they are speaking to, and gives solutions and the opportunity to collaborate to solve a problem. It does not attack or shame others. It speaks your truth while providing positive next steps to resolve issues before they can damage the relationship. ​