5 Steps to *Not* Becoming A Bridezilla

By Kelly Graham, MSW, RSW

​So, you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Congratulations! After you become engaged, life can feel surreal and be overwhelmingly happy. Then comes thinking about who you will invite, the venue, the food, and the money. It can begin to look daunting, and suddenly instead of wedding bells in the distance, all you can hear are anxiety sirens.
 
So how can you plan a wedding that doesn’t cost you your mental health? 

​First off, remember why you are getting married. For most people, it’s to spend the rest of your life with someone you love. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters; that you two can get married and be happy. But for everything else that comes with a wedding, here are 5 tips to help you stay sane.

Plan

This seems like an obvious step for a wedding. But, try to plan as much as you can and spread it out, so it doesn’t seem overwhelming. You don’t have to book everything you need in one day. Give yourself time to browse different options and not feel the stress of a time crunch. Make sure you have backup options in case something goes wrong. The further ahead you plan, the more time you will have to deal with all of the little aspects that you may not be thinking of, or have forgotten. It’ll also be more likely that’ll you’ll be able to get the venue or photographer you really want to, instead of having to look for different options.

Make it your wedding

Some people are going to have an input on where you should get married, or what you wear. And you can listen to them if you want. But, remember that this is YOUR wedding. The goal is to marry your partner and have a good time, not to make everyone happy. Be assertive and stand up for how you want your wedding to be. It’s okay to consider people’s suggestions, but make sure that the final say is up to you and your partner.

Limit toxic people

This can be easier said than done. Unfortunately, in our lives, we are going to have those friends or family members that drain all of our energy or bring us down. While you may feel obligated to invite them to your wedding, you don’t have to spend much time with them. During your wedding day, you’ll have many people you have to see and interact with, which gives you a good excuse to keep your interactions with toxic people brief. Don’t feed into their negative energy. Try and ignore it the best you can and focus on those that bring you happiness.

Ask for help

Planning a wedding is A LOT of work. Even if you can’t afford a wedding planner or decorator, don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s what your family and friends are there for! Especially your wedding party; they knew what they were signing up for. Put them to work! Most people would be happy to help you in any way that they can. Remember that your fiancé can help out too; this isn’t just your wedding, it’s both of yours.

Make time to take care of yourself

Wedding planning can be very stressful. It is important to take time to do things that help relax you and make you happy. This becomes more and more important as the day approaches. Take even a few minutes just to relax and not think about the wedding. This can help you cope with stress and not become overwhelmed.

 
And back to basics…
 
This is a decision that will affect your whole life, and many of us will get so mired in all the details (all the fluff), that we start to lose sight of why we agreed to this whole thing in the first place.

Remember this: will it matter in 10 minutes, 10 weeks, or 10 years? If it will matter in the long run, make the best decision you can live with, and just get the rest checked off the list.