How to Survive Life Transitions

By Seija Grant, MEd CP, RP

​Have you just moved to a new city or community? Have you just started working after having been in school for years?  Are you expecting a new baby or getting married?  Have you recently lost a beloved family member, friend, or pet? 
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There are many types of life transitions, and we all experience at least a few of these during our lifetime. I have realized that we often underestimate just how difficult it can be to cope with these changes in our lives, be it a major change or smaller adjustment. Some of these changes can be positive, but still come with many stresses that need to be overcome. While others are a challenge to cope with mentally, and make it difficult for us to find a silver lining.  
If you have not yet experienced one of these transitions but are thinking that you will soon, here are some things to be expected:

1. It is quite common to feel depressed or anxious when you are going through these changes in your life. The good news is that these feelings are usually situational, and will correct themselves once you find your way through the darkness.
2. You may feel lost or like you no longer have any direction in your life.  Hold on, because you will regain your sense of direction once you have had time to adapt to the change.
3. It may take longer to feel ‘normal’ again than you might have expected. Remember that everyone is their own individual; we all heal, cope, and rebound at different speeds. Be patient with yourself.

If you are experiencing some of the negative side effects of your transition, don’t worry too much, as there is still hope. Here are some tips for managing these overwhelming feelings and embracing opportunities:

1. Create a support network for yourself. Connect with others, be it old friends (in person, by phone, skype, Facebook, etc.) or new people.  Join a club or find others in your area who are interested in some of the same hobbies or pastimes. Check out the website and smartphone app called ‘MeetUp’ to start exploring some opportunities to engage with others in your area (https://www.meetup.com/).
2. Create realistic expectations. Nobody is going to adjust to change overnight. Even the most adaptable person will likely struggle and grapple with change for a while.  Try not to be so hard on yourself, and allow yourself to adjust at your own pace.  Don’t compare yourself to others, because we all have our own timelines.
3. Practice self-compassion. Simply said: Be kind to yourself.  However, this may be easier said than done for many people. Start by catching yourself when you are in a negative headspace and trying to find the positive, or give yourself permission to struggle sometimes. We are all human, and not perfect by any means. Check out the ‘Self-Compassion’ website for some ideas on how to practice this skill (http://self-compassion.org/). Engage in activities that are pleasurable for you, and make sure to incorporate self-care into your new routine.
4. Ask for help if you need it. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it, as we all need a little help sometimes. Ask a friend, a family member, or even your friendly neighbourhood counsellor.  We are here to help you through these tough times and would be honoured to be a part of your story.

​Hopefully this article was helpful and worth the read.  We wish you all the best in this chapter of your life, and through your life transitions.