The Mindful Attitude of Non-Striving

 “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”– Mahatma Gandhi 

𝒷𝓎 Laura Groulx, BEd, MSW, RSW

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Photo by Eberhard Grossgasteiger

Let’s talk about attitude.
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Specifically, let’s talk about the mindful attitude of Non-Striving. In the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, he outlines certain attitudes as components of mindfulness. While mindfulness is usually associated with meditation, equally important are the attitudes and theory that drive mindfulness and deepen its practice.

Taking on the attitude of Non-Striving encourages you to put less effort into trying to be someone you’re not, and instead, allows you to embrace the person you are today. It is not discouraging goal-setting, but encouraging you to view your goals from a different lens: it’s about how much weight is being placed on the outcome of reaching your goal that matters. If we are placing too much weight and importance on the outcome of achieving the goal, then either we are never living up to our own expectations, or we realize when we reach the goal that we are still the same person underneath it all.

The attitude of Non-Striving is about accepting and finding gratitude for who/where we are on our journey towards our goal, no matter our position towards progress.

This attitude often comes to my mind when working with clients, specifically young adults who are either finishing high school or post-secondary education, and are unsure what move to make next. It’s easy to feel confused or lost at this juncture in life; not working towards a goal can sometimes leave you feeling stuck. I get it – we are a goal-oriented society. Heck, I had two careers before finding my niche with this one, and was pretty hard on myself while I was floundering about trying to sort it all out. I wish someone had told me about this attitude at the time.

By taking on an attitude of Non-Striving, we are showing ourselves patience, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.

It’s giving ourselves space to sort through the process of goal setting and striving, while allowing ourselves to enjoy life along the way. As an example, let’s say your goal is to lose ten pounds and you’ve lost two so far – then that’s where you are today on your journey towards your goal. Show yourself self-compassion by enjoying the present. Speak kindly to yourself. Take that bubble bath. Play with the dog. Spend time with that friend. Laugh. The goal is still there, and if you wish, you can choose to continue striving towards it. Besides, being hard on yourself won’t get you to where you’re going any faster; there is no need to beat yourselves up for being a part of an unavoidable process.

If you are focused on the end goal of changing yourself, it’s implying that you aren’t good enough as you are today. This is unhelpful and inaccurate because you are enough. There is a lot of life to live while you strive towards reaching your goals, so don’t forget to step back and enjoy what’s in between. Ultimately, you don’t want to be wishing away your time. Once time’s gone, it’s gone. Identify those goals, make a plan to get there, and enjoy life non-striving towards them.