What are your emotions telling you?

By Marianne Wylie, MSW, RSW

We like feeling happiness, joy, love and contentment. We often don’t want to feel fear, sadness, despair, anger, frustration, jealousy and guilt. In fact, many of us will try and avoid these emotions at all costs. It is understandable as they can be very difficult to experience. However, a big part of healing involves allowing the space to feel the emotions. Emotions are our messengers for how we are doing in relation to our environment. This means, there are no good or bad emotions. All emotions are equally relevant and important. They are there for a reason.

​What is your emotion telling you?

• Fear tells us that there may be danger and to prepare for it. It also tells us that what we are fearing is important to us. The right amount of fear motivates us to take care of the situation.
• Anger lets us know that we or people we love have been wronged or that an important goal has been interrupted. Anger gives us energy so that we can fix what has been wronged; so that we can advocate for ourselves and for those who need our support.
• Joy informs us that things are going well, we are feeling healthy and happy. It tells us to continue doing what we are doing.
• Jealousy tells us that there is a threat to an important relationship or object to us.
• Sadness lets us know that we have lost someone or something dear to us or that things are not as expected.
• Envy lets us know that other(s) have something we don’t have or need.
• Guilt informs us that our own behaviour is not consistent with our values or morals.
• Love tells us that someone cares and we care about them. It improves the quality of life and helps us reach our personal goals.

 
Allowing the space to see what emotion we are feeling gives us power over it. We then allow it to process rather than feeling like we are stuck in it. Some ways you can allow space for the emotion is to talk to a person you feel comfortable with, to write it out in a journal, sit in silent reflection, or let it out in counselling.

​What you are feeling is valid and it is telling you something. What do you hear?
 
Source:
Linehand, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, 2nd Ed. Page 229.